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Monster On Board · 24 April 2010


INT.bus.day


Passengers get on the bus and all sit in the front around a small balding man, the ACCOUNTANT.  He has a briefcase on his lap and is sitting in the section with seats that go sideways right behind the bus driver.  The ACCOUNTANT is sitting under a sign that says, “MONSTER ON BOARD.”  As passengers enter, they look to the back of the bus, at the sign above the ACCOUNTANT, and at the ACCOUNTANT.  The back of the bus has a hairy man with tattoos, a bandana around his head, and chains around his wrists and waist.  BIKER DUDE is sitting beneath a sign that says, “be safe.” One by one the passengers look around the bus and decide to sit up front near the ACCOUNTANT.


BUS driver


Move to the back of the bus please.


PASSENGER1 pays, enters, looks around, and sits across from the ACCOUNTANT.


BUS DRIVER


Move to the back of the bus please.


PASSENGER2 pays, enters, looks around, and sits next to the ACCOUNTANT.


BUS DRIVER


Move to the back of the bus please.


PASSENGER3 pays, enters, looks around, and sits next to PASSENGER1.


BUS DRIVER


Move to the back of the bus please.


PASSENGER4 pays, enters, looks around, and sits on the other side of the ACCOUNTANT.


BUS DRIVER


Move to the back of the bus please.


PASSENGER5 pays, enters, looks around, and stands in the aisle in front of the ACCOUNTANT.


BUS DRIVER


Move to the back of the bus please.


PASSENGER6 pays, enters, looks around, and stands in the aisle in front of the ACCOUNTANT.


BUS DRIVER


Move to the back of the bus please.


PASSENGER7 pays, enters, looks around, and stands in the aisle in front of the ACCOUNTANT.  The bus door closes and the bus starts to move from the bus stop.


BUS DRIVER


(under his breath)


Here we go again.


accountant


(angrily)


Why are you all crowding me!?


All the other passengers in the front of the bus look toward the back of the bus in fear.


passenger2


(whispering to the ACCOUNTANT)


It says there is a monster on board and we did not want to sit next to him.


ACCOUNTANT


(angrily then amused)


What?!  You think he is a monster?!


ACCOUNTANT laughs and throws his head back.  PASSENGER6 (closest to the rear and standing in the aisle) inches back toward the rear of the bus in realization.  He is almost too late.  The ACCOUNTANT’s head, arms, and hands grow to enormous size as he laughs.  His eyes turn a glowing red.  He points to BIKER DUDE in the back of the bus.


ACCOUNTANT


(amused)


He is just a man.  I am the monster.


ACCOUNTANT opens his mouth wide, scoops the passengers around him into his mouth, and swallows them whole.  All are eaten except BIKER DUDE and PASSENGER6 (who has run safely to the back).  PASSENGER6 flops into the seat next to BIDER DUDE panting with fear and exertion.  ACCOUNTANT licks his lips wipes his mouth with his sleeve as his head, arms, and hands shrinks back to normal and his eyes turn back to their original color.  The only difference from his original state is that the ACCOUNTANT has a slightly distended belly.


passenger6


(panting and fearful)


How did you know he was a a a… monster?


Biker dude


(matter of factly)


I just read the sign.


PASSENGER6


(panting and fearful and a little confused)


But how did you know that the back was safe?


BIKER DUDE


(pointing above with his head)


Like I said, I just read the sign.


(emphasizing)


The whole sign.


PASSENGER6 looks up at the sign above BIKER DUDE and sees that the part in the very back of the bus is merely the middle of the sign in the back of the bus which wraps around the top of the bus over the last 6 or so rows of the bus.  The part of the sign on the left wall reads, “Sit in back to.”  The sign above BIKER DUDE reads, “be safe.”  The sign on the other side reads, “from the”  There is a break in the signage and then the sign continues above the ACCOUNTANT, “MONSTER ON BOARD.”  The whole sign reads, “Sit in back to be safe from the MONSTER ON BOARD.”


INT.BUS.DAY
(after or during credits)


BIKER DUDE and the ACCOUNTANT get ready to leave at the next bus stop.  PASSENGER6 has disheveled hair and his clothes look unkempt and dirty because of the sweat and worry of his narrow escape.  His nervous looks make him appear like one on drugs or more likely, an escaped patient from a mental hospital.


BIKER DUDE


(to PASSENGER6)


Well, this is my stop.  Be safe. 


(laughing)


Watch out for monsters.


The ACCOUNTANT is at the front of the bus ready to leave with BIKER DUDE behind him.  As they exit the bus, the accountant sees a well-built Adonis-like man and gives him an ever so slight nod.  ADONIS gives the ACCOUNTANT a knowing wink.  BIKER DUDE shakes his head when he sees the exchange.  ADONIS and other passengers start to enter the bus with ADONIS leading the way.


BUS DRIVER


(quietly to ADONIS)


Sit in your assigned seat please.


(to the other passengers as they enter)


Move to the back of the bus please.


As the passengers file in, the BUS DRIVER sees in his mirror that they are sitting in the front of the bus with ADONIS who is, of course, sitting right under the MONSTER ON BOARD sign.  BUS DRIVER rolls his eyes in disbelief as he closes the door to the bus and starts to move away from the bus stop.


BUS DRIVER


(under his breath)


Here we go again.


As the bus drives off, we see the crowded front of the bus and the wild-eyed PASSENGER6 alone in the back.


black screen


aDONIS


(from off screen)


Why are you all crowding me!?

© 2010 Michael T. Miyoshi

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