A Real Problem · 18 February 2013

I never realized what a big problem sugar addiction could be until yesterday. I know I like sugar, which includes what my wife calls white food – stuff that resembles food but has few, if any, nutrients – but I never realized how much it affects my life.

Yesterday, I went on a sugar binge. I mainlined. I had piece of chocolate after piece of chocolate. Sure, it had nuts in it, but they were the only nutrition in any bite. I did not heed my wife’s warnings to stop. I did not care that I was irritable. I did not care that I was not thinking clearly. I did not even care that I would have a headache, dry mouth, and other repercussions the next day. I only wanted the sugar.

It was despicable, irrational behavior and I hated it even as I was doing it.

On a clinical level, I had to watch myself go through it. I knew I was misbehaving. I knew I was feeding my addiction. I knew I would regret it. But I had to see just how far I would degrade myself with the mind altering drug called sugar.

Thankfully, I did not get too mean and nasty. But I did growl quite a bit more than usual. I was also hypersensitive to our kids’ behavior. I saw an old me and I did not like what I saw. Not one little bit.

They say that you cannot observe yourself without changing your behavior. That the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle works with human behavior as well as quantum mechanics. And I am glad. I am glad that I could watch myself misbehaving and change that behavior a little. I could barely keep myself from gorging on the chocolate, but I could take a little at a time. I could barely keep from nitpicking, but I could keep myself from yelling. I am glad that as I watched myself I could change my behavior. Even if it was just slightly.

I do not know what addiction to narcotics or other substances is like, but I believe sugar addiction fits into the same category. A documentary called Hungry for Change actually does compare sugar to heroin or cocaine. But even after watching the movie, I did not think of it that way. Not until yesterday. Not until I went on my own sugar-induced trip.

I am a self-confessed junk food junkie and a sugar addict. But after yesterday, I doubt I will be so cavalier about it in the future. After yesterday, I realize what a real problem sugar addiction can be.

© 2013 Michael T. Miyoshi

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