Skinny Jeans · 8 March 2013

I hate to admit it, but I finally fit into an old pair of skinny jeans that I still have from almost twenty years ago.

The first reason I hate to admit it is because of how ridiculous it sounds. Rather, how female it sounds. Not that I am being sexist, but real men do not talk about skinny jeans.

Real men might talk about fat genes or big bones as the cause to being rotund. We might even joke about needing a new pair of fat jeans because we are getting older and fatter. But few, if any, self-respecting men talk about skinny jeans. Which is, of course, why I hate to admit having any skinny jeans in the first place. (And why I expect to be ridiculed.)

Not only will I be ridiculed for talking about skinny jeans, I will also surely hear about saving jeans for almost twenty years.

My wife keeps trying to get me to get rid of things. I know I should, but why should I throw out perfectly good stuff? In my own defense of the jeans (and my manhood), I was not keeping them until a day when I would fit them again. I actually had no such illusions. I only kept them around because they were still good and it is difficult to throw away perfectly good stuff.

I actually used to forget that the jeans were from a day when I was thinner. So much so that I would even try to put them on occasionally. Last summer, I tried to wear them and could not pull them up much farther than my knees. As I have been losing weight and waist, I have tried them on a couple times. Still, to no avail. Today, I was just looking for jeans that were clean when I decided to try them on again. I was actually surprised that they fit without me having to pry them on or suck in my gut to button them up.

I know I am setting myself up for ridicule from at least one reader and friend. Because real men do not have skinny jeans. Because real men do not keep them around for almost twenty years. And certainly, because real men do not talk (much less write) about either if they did. But it does not really matter. Because as much as I hate to admit all that stuff, I fit into my skinny jeans.

© 2013 Michael T. Miyoshi

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