Happy Fiftieth · 21 July 2010

A female PROFESSOR stands at her podium preparing for her lecture.  The table next to her podium has a hint of the day.  It has an open yellow envelope barely visible.  She has an innocuous “50” pin on her lapel.  And she smiles a little as she puts something under her lecture notes.  She sighs a little as she looks up preparing to speak.

A police OFFICER bursts into the lecture hall huffing and puffing.  Apparently, he has been running.  He has on an unbuttoned trench coat and places his hands on his knees to catch his breath.  His hat is a bit askance, but he takes it off and wipes his brow with his arm.  The top of his head is toward the camera which is in the seats of the lecture hall.  He moves toward and then sits in a seat next to the table beside the podium.  His body is facing the class (there are whispers and rustling in the lecture hall), but he turns his head toward the professor.


(still panting slightly)

Did a man just rush in or through this room?



Nobody has entered but my students.

The PROFESSOR motions toward her students.  The OFFICER looks where her arm motions and nods ascent.  He starts to breathe hard again.  Almost gasping for breath.  The PROFESSOR looks worried and moves toward the OFFICER.



Are you okay?  Do I need to call the paramedics?


(waving her off and trying to smile)

No.  Just give me a second and I will be okay.

(coughing slightly; apologetically)

Maybe a bit of water would help.

The PROFESSOR grabs a water bottle that had been next to her podium.  She walks around the table toward the OFFICER and gives him the bottle.  He takes the bottle, opens it, and takes a large drink.  It is the first time his full face is shown and he is striking.  He places his hand on the table and pushes himself up.  The PROFESSOR moves to help him by grabbing the elbow of his arm that is not propping him up.  The OFFICER grins a big grin of thanks and then slips back toward the chair a bit.  The PROFESSOR moves in closer to grab the OFFICER and help him.  The next thing she knows, she is in the chair and he is standing above her looking down.  He is no longer panting and he has torn his trench coat off.  Music starts up at the top of the lecture hall (behind the camera).

The PROFESSOR looks shocked as the OFFICER starts a strip tease.  He pulls off his tear-away shirt and then his tear-away pants.  He has a small Speedo swim suit on and is gyrating to the music.  The lecture hall is erupting with whoops and yells of delight.  The camera pans around to the students and focuses on a group in the back holding up a sign that says, “Happy 50th Professor K.”

The PROFESSOR’s look changes from shock to enjoyment as the camera focuses back on her.  She is beaming at the OFFICER’s face and swaying to the music.  The camera fades to black and the music slowly fades.



Do you have a business card?

© 2010 Michael T. Miyoshi

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